[Isadora]

Being femme is part of my internal identity. It is who I am not who I date. It is part of my locus.

I am unique unto the world, as is everyone one of us. Like most people searching for community we are thrilled when we find family, then more than a little disappointed when the "family" is different or does not live up to what I expected. Sort of like "Yay, I found b/f, my people! There are tons of people out there just like me!" Then "OMG, there are republicans, meat eaters, liars, femmes in tennis shoes, bullies, butches with long hair, crazies, players (fill in the blank) and people who don't like each other."

The other part I think I need to remind myself about is that disagreeing with you does not mean I don't like you. This leap is taken way to often. I may not agree with your politics, your sexual expression, your gnat size brain, your sense of humor but it does not mean I don't like you. I am amazed at the times I get "I don't think she likes me." People. Really.

If I don't like you I ignore you cause I am old and cranky and I don't like wasting my time on you. A very wise woman once told me, "Deb not everyone is going to like you and you are not going to like everyone. So, just accept it and be yourself."

The older I get the less I like people speaking FOR me. Anyone. Femme or Butch. I speak for myself, I am a big girl I can also handle being questioned or asked for clarification. I still speak for myself, not my gender, not my race, not my community, not my relationships...I speak for me. I don't appreciate, any more, any other form of being. Keep your damn self off my words and just ask me what I meant, don't interpret for me or assume. Sometimes I may ask someone to speak for me but I get to choose who that is for me. All this said, after all I am a hothead Aries, let me think about it before I answer. Give me a little time. I, also post with trepidation sometimes, because people assume they understand and react rather than think.

I evolve. I change. I listen, think and review my own beliefs, actions and thoughts. Just because I said it five years ago in a middle of a post does not mean I have not transformed into a new thought pattern. Jeeshhh, people change, ideas change, priorities change, life changes, I change. Be pretty damn sad if I didn't. I am not the same person I was 10 years ago, I am not the same person I was five months ago...