Will,
I go the cemetary of relatives 4 to 5 times a year. It depends on how I am feeling. I go for maybe a few minutes at a time. I place flowers or a wreath out at Christmastime. In going I have learned who has visitors and who does not. In turn, I make sure to bring extra flowers or whatever, to decorate other gravestones. I think it is the one place that all souls return too when loved ones are there. When I go, I clean off the gravestones with water because they are some sort of a brass material. The marble ones I use Windex on.
In doing this, it brings me joy. Some ppl are not comfortable in going because they are afraid or did not have a decent relationship with the deceased, or some other reason. Everyone is different. Grief is different for everyone, and how they respond to their loss. I know when my sister, JoAnn, died, last year, I am still grieving. Her 2 boys & husband are still grieving. Her mother is fine. It is like nothing ever happened. It makes no sense to me. But that is me.
I think you need to come to terms with your mom's death with your own time-table. You know what to do, when it is time. I think everyone does.
I wish for you peace.
Love,
Andrew