[Gemme]

Originally Posted by Jude

Wondering if I'm just socially atypical............. What is the level of your need for personal space? Does the suggestion of "in your face" send an involuntary shiver up your spine? Do crowds ever overwhelm you? How do you feel about the person behind you in a que (how close is too close)? The hug from a mere acquaintance?

This is wholly apart from sexual intimacy - talking physical, personal space here; not even about emotional need for space. (That may be my next query!)

I don't have a set level or physical amount of space that is THE amount for me. It depends on the situation, the people involved, whether I'm ovulating, etc.

Crowds don't bother me unless the other people consistently get in my way. Then, I begin to take it personally and the teeth begin to clench. I get more irritated than overwhelmed.

As for lines, I prefer enough room for there to be a distinct difference between them and myself and their stuff and my stuff. I'll keep the cart behind me in order to get that space, if I see or feel a space hog coming.

Like Blade, I'm a touchy feely sort. I touch people. I do understand that others are not as touchy as I am and try to remember who is less inclined to be okay with a touch on the shoulder or a pat than others. I hug lots. If I feel someone is not too huggy and/or not comfortable with hugging but we're already going through the motions, I'll spare them and make it a super quick half hug, like teachers have to do in schools now.

Someone mentioned elevators. That's an excellent analogy for how I handle personal space. I give others as much personal space as I can, fitting the situation. As more people come into the space, there's going to be some adjusting and shuffling around, but if all are respectful of one another's space, it's more tolerable than if you have someone literally in your face.

I have no qualms with telling someone to back up or give me space if there is space to be given. Sometimes it's a simple "Excuse me" and a simultaneous shifting of the eyes in the direction I want them to move and either a shoulder shrug or actual movement of my arms in that direction.

I've also addressed personal space with children in front of their parents, not that it did any good for the parents. The children seemed to be more aware of the space issue than the parents were, actually.