[Medusa]

Unn, Im sorry for your loss. I know that it is difficult and often triggery to read about the things in this conversation when things are so raw for you. I hope you find some peace.

I also know that Andrew wasnt trying to trigger anyone and started this thread from a place of analysis rather than from morbid laughter.

With that said, I have been fascinated with the process of life and death since I was a child. I was even taken to the school counselor when I was in the 4th grade because my teacher was having career day and was horrified when I told her I wanted to be a Funeral Director.

That urge has never gone away and I am, for the third time in my life, seriously contemplating going to Mortuary school.

We also have an extensive collection of items related to the human (and animal) death experience. We have a 6-foot oak casket in our garage. Trocar needles used in embalming, urns, toe tags, internment orders, freezer guages, books, magazines, even several human teeth and finger bones. Most people who come to our home have a pretty visceral reaction to seeing this stuff displayed. Many are grossed out. Many are disturbed. Some find it interesting.

Most people assume that I grew up in a funeral home or something because I am so normalized to the death process. I have worked in several hospitals and seen, touched, and handled several dead bodies, including many, many children. I worked in the Cancer unit at a children's hospital here in Arkansas and cared for and tended to the bodies of more children than I can count and until you have cradled the lifeless body of a 6-week-old infant who has died from Leukemia, you dont really grasp the level of love and care that must go into treating people's bodies with respect when they die.
I think that is my biggest draw, the humanity of it. I have witnessed Mothers who wanted to be taken when their children died. I have witnessed children who were glad to be going. I have witnessed people's final words and breaths. Death is a very, very humbling experience.
I, for one, am glad that there are people who are willing to be part of this process. Helping prepare and care for the bodies of those who have gone on.

I have made my wishes known to Jack for when I die. I hope that everyone has a big party with lots of merriment and story-telling. I want to be cremated and I dont care what happens to the ashes. I have had an amazing life thus far. Dont get me wrong, Im not ready to go anywhere just yet because Im having such a great time but if I died tomorrow, I would have accomplished much of what I have wanted to accomplish in this life. I have broken the cycle of physical abuse that has been generationally entrenched in my family. I broke my own cycle of addiction. I have learned to live an authentic life. I have stopped being afraid. I have laughed more in my life than most people can imagine. I have made some amazing friends. I have loved and been loved in return.
There isnt anything more magical than that to me.