Hope you don't mind me dropping bye...
I read the first post you made Dragonfly, and it reminded me very much of this ya'fa girl I had crushed on so bad in my teen years.
I was raised in...(not an out an out) racist family, but growing up I heard more than enough. As I grew older and met this girl I would get so nervous about my background...afraid something would slip or the issue of race would come up and I would be exposed as the bigots who quietly hated as they raised me. Their views and mine were not one in the same but how can one explain away the actions and comments of their family?
It took me forever to ask this young lady out. And much to my surprise and relief race was the last thing either of us thought about.
We ended up in some very comfortable discussions (about race..ect..) that naturally progressed as we went along.
Glad to see things went well for you!!