Went to our 6:00 speaker meeting at my home group this evening. Barry did a great job with his story and his message. Went out to dinner with friends afterwards. I had a wonderful evening with recovery friends and am so blessed to have them.
I talked to a newcomer after the meeting. She was crying, scared and so embarrassed over a very recent incident which was a direct result of her drinking. She said she intends to come to the women's meeting tomorrow evening at 6:00. I will say some prayers to the Good Spirit she makes it.
Our minds can flip-flop on us so quickly when we are in the spot this woman is in. Amazing how quickly the ego rebuilds itself and can tell us "oh, that wasn't that bad" ... which for me, was always a set-up until the next incident. So thankful I am not attempting to manage damage control regarding getting buzzed up anymore. Just looking back and remembering it makes me so exhausted. And when my huge ego would say to me that it is okay now and I can use/drink like non-alcoholic people - that is when I would hit the wall again ... and wonder how I could have let it happen again. I have no will to control/combat an addiction anymore. I have no reservations when I say I am absolutely certain I will lose every single time. Recovery is so much easier and lots more fun. I gave up to win. I am thankful for my friends in my home group. They are real!
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