I wake up from dreams in which what I was doing, wearing, acting was somehow not butch enough. My dream self usually has the good sense to remember that who I am and how I feel about myself is all that counts, not some ones imaginary ideal of butch. How do you draw butch? It’s not the trappings, it’s the heart. I’m still working on this idea. Drawing the inner butch.
What I understand you asking about first of all. The separation and judgment of different ids. I don’t have a sense of them against us. I’ve tried out at times in my life different ids in the effort to find or understand myself. It may have given me more of the feeling of being part of the whole. No matter how different I am from others, I feel closely related in some way. Like having family members who have bad days, or who just don’t like me at all, we are all just humans trying to make sense of life and live it fully.
|