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Diva · 12-24-2009, 05:41 PM

Good afternoon, boys and girls, and Merry Holidays Eve!

I have a Christmas story for you about My Evil Postman and The Case Of The Runaway Mailbox..............

For weeks now, I have noticed that my mailbox was getting tiltier and tiltier....sorta like your cousin Lips toward the end of one of your Auntie Diva's soirees......

But I digress......

So, I have waited with bated breath lo these many days (notice I said "lo", boys and girls, just like the baby Jeebus's angel said to the shepherds tending their flocks....I wanted to make the story relevant for the children) for an opportune moment to actually FIX that mailbox as the postman wasn't treating it with care as he deposited my mail. I'm not exactly sure, boys and girls, what his issue was and why it was so difficult to just slide the mail in, seeing as the DOOR to the mailbox fell off months ago.

ANYway....

I was sitting at my desk just a few moments ago, minding my own bees wax, playing Shoot The Balloon (or whatEVER it's called) and my doorbell rings. Normally, I would not answer the door, boys and girls, but your cousin OilCan and your cousin Schmoopie were out of town, so I knew it was safe to answer.

Lo and behold, a stranger from the east, boys and girls.

No. Really.

I've never seen such a strange looking man. And why was he standing on my porch..........and holding my mailbox?????

I opened my door. "Hi....my name is Shawn," he said (so it WASN'T Sasquatch?!?!?!?), and I think this might be yours. It wasn't hard to figure it out, really, as yours is the only house on the street without a mailbox." (smartass) And he held up my doorless mailbox!

"OH MY GOODNESS," I exclaimed. "Where do live?"

"About 4 doors down on the other side of the street," he replied. "We had some strong winds last night, I guess." He spoke the truth. Even Lucy had barked at the noise of the wind, boys and girls.

I opened my door and he handed me my mailbox. Thank GOODness, I had bought a NEW mailbox.....2 years ago.

Now.....maybe you're remembering, boys and girls, that I mentioned my evil postman? Yes. As your Auntie Diva was waiting for more Christmas cards, the postman just whizzed right by your Auntie Diva's house!!! Could he not have dropped off my mail????? Was that too much to ask?

My FORMER mailchick WOULD have. SHE would have LOOKED for my poor, doorless, lost and windblown mailbox......and brought it to me.......and PROBABLY would have offered to fix it for me, too. She was cute that way.

And that, boys and girls, was the story of The Evil Postman, Sasquatch and Auntie Diva's Windblown Mailbox.

Signed,
Auntie Diva......looking for cousin M, as SHE used to work for the postal service & she's wondering if it's "...neither rain, nor snow, nor WIND TURBULENCE or dark of night....." if THAT'S the way that goes.....

12-24-2009, 05:41 PM	#62
Diva Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Diva Preferred Pronoun?: Diva Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Chez Diva Posts: 11,879 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,263 Thanked 17,179 Times in 5,238 Posts Rep Power: 0	Good afternoon, boys and girls, and Merry Holidays Eve! I have a Christmas story for you about My Evil Postman and The Case Of The Runaway Mailbox.............. For weeks now, I have noticed that my mailbox was getting tiltier and tiltier....sorta like your cousin Lips toward the end of one of your Auntie Diva's soirees...... But I digress...... So, I have waited with bated breath lo these many days (notice I said "lo", boys and girls, just like the baby Jeebus's angel said to the shepherds tending their flocks....I wanted to make the story relevant for the children) for an opportune moment to actually FIX that mailbox as the postman wasn't treating it with care as he deposited my mail. I'm not exactly sure, boys and girls, what his issue was and why it was so difficult to just slide the mail in, seeing as the DOOR to the mailbox fell off months ago. ANYway.... I was sitting at my desk just a few moments ago, minding my own bees wax, playing Shoot The Balloon (or whatEVER it's called) and my doorbell rings. Normally, I would not answer the door, boys and girls, but your cousin OilCan and your cousin Schmoopie were out of town, so I knew it was safe to answer. Lo and behold, a stranger from the east, boys and girls. No. Really. I've never seen such a strange looking man. And why was he standing on my porch..........and holding my mailbox????? I opened my door. "Hi....my name is Shawn," he said (so it WASN'T Sasquatch?!?!?!?), and I think this might be yours. It wasn't hard to figure it out, really, as yours is the only house on the street without a mailbox." (smartass) And he held up my doorless mailbox! "OH MY GOODNESS," I exclaimed. "Where do live?" "About 4 doors down on the other side of the street," he replied. "We had some strong winds last night, I guess." He spoke the truth. Even Lucy had barked at the noise of the wind, boys and girls. I opened my door and he handed me my mailbox. Thank GOODness, I had bought a NEW mailbox.....2 years ago. Now.....maybe you're remembering, boys and girls, that I mentioned my evil postman? Yes. As your Auntie Diva was waiting for more Christmas cards, the postman just whizzed right by your Auntie Diva's house!!! Could he not have dropped off my mail????? Was that too much to ask? My FORMER mailchick WOULD have. SHE would have LOOKED for my poor, doorless, lost and windblown mailbox......and brought it to me.......and PROBABLY would have offered to fix it for me, too. She was cute that way. And that, boys and girls, was the story of The Evil Postman, Sasquatch and Auntie Diva's Windblown Mailbox. Signed, Auntie Diva......looking for cousin M, as SHE used to work for the postal service & she's wondering if it's "...neither rain, nor snow, nor WIND TURBULENCE or dark of night....." if THAT'S the way that goes.....