[sharkchomp]

Watermelon. Watermelon is on my mind tonight. Whether you believe in a Supreme Being or evolution, something special happened when that little seed was created. Just looking at it from the outside you know it's some kind of special because it's striped. Think of all the cool things that are striped - tigers, zebras. Hmmm that's all that I can think of that's striped. Well my dog is striped and I've always thought that was really cool! But a striped fruit is really cool anyway.

I always wonder how someone discovered it and decided it was ok to eat. Did they just happen upon it? Did they pick it up and thump it, hearing that somewhat hollow sound? Can you imagine what they thought when they broke it open to find the red meat of it? And some daring soul tried it. And you just know that lucky ole fool was the villiage/clan/whatever? hero for finding that shit!

I know what would have happened if I had discovered it, I would have ate the whole damned thing cause you know they didn't have sweets back in that day. Watermelon had to be the chocolate/ice cream/snickers of that time. (And yes I listed Snickers as it's own food even though it has chocolate just because it has that noughuty shit and it really does satisfy.) I mean those peeps didn't even have pies back then cause they 1)didn't have processed sugar and 2)they didn't have ovens.

Today a watermelon is a staple for cookouts and picnics. But back in the day it was a blessing for a good growing season. Can you imagine knowing the sweet goodness of a watermelon and then having to wait months for it to grow??? I'd never make it back then. "I want some watermelon. What? I have to wait four months for it to grow? WTF??? OK, I'll take some ice cream. What do you mean you have no ice??? OK, I'll take a Mt Dew. What? I have to walk 8 miles to the nearest store??? Ummm, I'll just drive. What you don't have a car? I have to either walk or ride a horse?" Yeah, I don't think so!!!!! I'll just throw some ice and my watermelon in my cooler and drive to the lake - thank you!

But really, think how cool watermelon is. When you slice it, does it not automatically remind you of a smiley face???? And unless you cut it into little pie slices, that sweet watery goodness is going to drip down your face and onto your shirt making a sweet mess. And probally the coolest thing about watermelons is you can spit the seeds out and it is socially acceptable.

I simply can't eat a big ole piece of watermelon without being transported back to being a kid. You don't see too many adults eating big ole pieces of watermelon though. No, they must have gotten tired of wearing the watermelon juice and came up with 'fruit salad'. Fruit salad is good shit though, no denying it. But it''s always better with those little marshmallows. I honestly have no idea how someone came up with marshmallows or what is in them but DAMN, give that person a ribbon!

And now that I'm thinking about the discovery of fruits, imagine the unlucky bastard that discovered the radish. Now I know it's not a fruit and I really like radishes, but it's red. So imagine some poor fella finds a radish and you know it's a bit of a shock to his taste buds. It looks sweet - but noooooo it's not. In fact it's got a bit of a kick to it. And without ranch dressing - hmmmm maybe not one's favorite food. So then the poor fella finds a strawberry. Hmmmmm, it's red too. So he talks or grunts or whatever his (and I say his but it may have well been a her - just saying) best pal into trying it. Of course the strawberry is a smash and his pal is the clan's strawberry hero and he's the radish zero. Or.... perhaps even worse! He finds the strawberry first, then finds the radish. And you know he'd be all fucked up over finding the apple! - Is it sweet or what?

Which leads me to finding lemons, limes and oranges. I mean what if the guy had been on a roll. He found the watermelon and the strawberry. Then he finds oranges and tangerines. YUM YUM YUM!!!!!! And the guy is elevated to clan superhero level. And then he finds a lemon. It's so pretty and it smells sooooo good. And then he bites into that sonofabitch! Poor bastard. But ya know let's face it, the lemon came into itself with lemonade and sliced lemon in water and of course lemon marange pie.

~~~shark~~~~~~~~