Quote:
Originally Posted by Bit
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I dunno, darlin, what IS Julie's identity? How does it depend--or NOT depend--on yours? How did it come to be solely defined by her sexuality?
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Except on a purely imaginary, play-pretend, lets-get-theoretical level, Bent can't answer these questions. I can
sort of see why you asked him, but since I believe the effort was misplayed (not that I am hurt - I'm not) I'm going to answer.
My identity is in no way contingent upon the individual that I partner with, or any person with whom I might choose to enter sexual relations. My identity has never been and will never be "solely" defined by my sexuality.
I have revealed before that I see my sexual orientation as fitting a pansexual screen, which for me, and because of the way that it is fashioned, is also a queer one. Because of how I
love, which is different than purely sexual desire (obviously), I am best to venture into relationship with a certain subset of masculine females and/or trans males.
Absolutely none of that defines me. It is only a marker, an indicator, as to my desires.
Should I say that my identity is heteronormative? Is that really what we're avoiding saying? Because it could be understood as an identity marker. And the only place I see a lack of parity here is where transmen, genderqueers, third gendered butches and stone butches aren't saying the same thing in relationship to their own identities. I mean, as long as they aren't saying: I am Femmesensual (and let's face it; they're not - except Hey AZ!), and so few are saying "I id as straight," then it really isn't about identity for them in terms of us.
And if they are identifying as straight, we aren't meeting them in like numbers. (Pure bullshit conjecture here.)
And is
this heteronormative behavior? And is that really so bad? This has always been about the power of personal choice, hasn't it? Was there really ever such a thing?
I can't decide.
Someone will tell me my post is a derail.