[Arwen]

Originally Posted by blush

Well said, labete. I was thinking as I was reading your post that for every horror story (and I've got them too) about femme "friends," I have 10 kumbaya stories about femme friends.

Truth is, other femmes just "get it" in a way that no one else does. Other femmes get the fierceness, the invisibility, the "am I femme enough," and the endurance tests of our loves.

Labete did make a good point and I think you have really done so as well, Blush.

One thing that stands out for me here is that I know I fixate on the bad examples. I lock them into my mind as mirrors for myself to avoid at all costs.

I won't be like X. I'll never treat my lover the way X treats her. Etc.

Wouldn't it be lovely if I could instead use the mirrors of those femmes that I admire?

Then I could look within and say that in this situation, I will be more like Pup. And in this other one, I will don my Blush armor. Or I will use the voice of Medusa and the passion of Gemme. Or that I will love my partner like e.

A much nicer way of living I think. It is better to have role models than avoidance techniques.

I think I will try ...no not try, right Yoda? I think I will take this on as part of my own interior landscaping. Thanks. You truly made a difference in my life.

And thank you to LaBete for waking this thread up. I learn something from every post here..