Butch Femme Planet - View Single Post - Reclaiming Androgyny & The Text Book Definition

princessbelle · 04-12-2011, 02:52 PM

I have this thought, just my own way of seeing the seemingly real push to identify online to basically how butch you are vs. how femme.

"I identify as this or that or i don't identify in any group or don't ask me...i am me. "

You know when *we* go to a gay bar for instance, people don't run around with name tags on that say *ftm* or *androgynous* or *butch and prefer she* etc. You are either attracted to someone or you aren't, at the beginning anyway. Besides the fact of knowing that person on a deeper level, the first thing we honestly notice is the way they look, react to people, talk, and or *especially for me* their movements and swagger or walk.

Online this is almost impossible. Well, we do have photos but you can't see the movements, the shading of the person, the eyes into who they really are other than the thoughts or posts they provide. The thoughts of others are very important but it generally doesn't tell you if they are *what you are looking for* by reading "What made you smile today" thread.

I'm betting on the fact that the majority of us aren't that shallow as to try and mold people into a group that has been discussed a million times and one in which i'm pretty sure we will never all agree totally to each definition of the IDs. I'm also betting on the fact that without these IDs as noted on many profiles we could talk it up and then meet and find out it is not as we perceived things (not to say that doesn't happen...but it would certainly happen more IMO).

Maybe i'm looking at this too elementary, too simply...but to me the IDs are just a tool to help us *see* each other. Maybe we aren't trying to disect ourselves or others with the labeling but just an honest way to "see" who we are having a drink with, a talk with, a connection with. I honestly don't know of too many people on here that say i'm this or that and doesn't appreciate how someone else IDs as well.

On here saying you are androgynous may make many turn away or turn toward, but in real time, i don't think the way someone IDs is that important. You are either attracted or you aren't.

Maybe the attention we give to IDs is just because we aren't sitting in a room with drinks of ...water. IMO online it is often hard to recognize or conceed to our attrations if we don't fully understand how the other person.....swaggers or walks.

04-12-2011, 02:52 PM	#17
princessbelle Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Tennessee Posts: 6,100 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 29,380 Thanked 30,503 Times in 5,201 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I have this thought, just my own way of seeing the seemingly real push to identify online to basically how butch you are vs. how femme. "I identify as this or that or i don't identify in any group or don't ask me...i am me. " You know when we go to a gay bar for instance, people don't run around with name tags on that say ftm or androgynous or butch and prefer she etc. You are either attracted to someone or you aren't, at the beginning anyway. Besides the fact of knowing that person on a deeper level, the first thing we honestly notice is the way they look, react to people, talk, and or especially for me their movements and swagger or walk. Online this is almost impossible. Well, we do have photos but you can't see the movements, the shading of the person, the eyes into who they really are other than the thoughts or posts they provide. The thoughts of others are very important but it generally doesn't tell you if they are what you are looking for by reading "What made you smile today" thread. I'm betting on the fact that the majority of us aren't that shallow as to try and mold people into a group that has been discussed a million times and one in which i'm pretty sure we will never all agree totally to each definition of the IDs. I'm also betting on the fact that without these IDs as noted on many profiles we could talk it up and then meet and find out it is not as we perceived things (not to say that doesn't happen...but it would certainly happen more IMO). Maybe i'm looking at this too elementary, too simply...but to me the IDs are just a tool to help us see each other. Maybe we aren't trying to disect ourselves or others with the labeling but just an honest way to "see" who we are having a drink with, a talk with, a connection with. I honestly don't know of too many people on here that say i'm this or that and doesn't appreciate how someone else IDs as well. On here saying you are androgynous may make many turn away or turn toward, but in real time, i don't think the way someone IDs is that important. You are either attracted or you aren't. Maybe the attention we give to IDs is just because we aren't sitting in a room with drinks of ...water. IMO online it is often hard to recognize or conceed to our attrations if we don't fully understand how the other person.....swaggers or walks. __________________ ~ I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou Last edited by princessbelle; 04-12-2011 at 02:57 PM.