Amelia, I think you made some really great points about the way public spaces such as restrooms and dressing rooms assume 2 genders and that people are heterosexual, which is so not the case and causes lots of confusion and difficulty.
Unfortunately the reality is that a majority of violent crimes are committed by men against women. Of course there are women who can physically assault women or men as well as men who can assault other men, but these do not occur as frequently. So women in places like public restrooms or dressing rooms can feel uncomfortable if they perceive men in the room. I do understand this.
As a female I can also feel uncomfortable in dressing rooms with lots of men in them. When I am feeling uncomfortable I will carry my clothes over to the womens dressing room. I don't use Mens restrooms. I was a custodian in college for a few summers, and no offense to anyone but I would prefer to never see the inside of a Mens restroom ever again. To me the cleanliness factor between the two was no comparison.
I myself tend to be the most uncomfortable around young males, especially when they are in groups, because they are the ones who have hassled me the most. It doesn't mean all young males are bad.
I don't usually get hassled in public restrooms. I am perceived to be female most of the time, although not always. Awhile ago I had gone to the barbershop to get my hair cut. Then I wanted to get lunch. As I was going into the restaurant a group of people was going in. One was an elderly woman in a walker. After I had ordered my lunch I went to use the restroom. I always use the Womens. It was a small bathroom with 2 stalls. After I was behind the stall, I noticed someone came in. I could see the walker. I tried to get out of the bathroom as soon as I could just to make sure I would not startle an elderly woman in a walker in case I confused her. I was not trying to be ageist or anything. For all I know she could have turned around and said, "nice haircut." But I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable in a small public space so I got out as soon as I could. So I do try to be aware that in some situations I might make someone uncomfortable in female spaces because I am not the typical female they might be expecting.
There are some unisex bathrooms where I live, but they are one stall like in some restaurants. I do use them when they are available.
Bit, thank you for participating in the thread. To me it was clear it was the perving you were uncomfortable with, not gay women. You said ANYONE.
Jess, yes I think as females we have some of the same issues that femmes have and that is one of the reasons I started the thread, so we could all talk together. I have also had parents physically pull their children farther away from me in public. I love children, so yeah that is hurtful to me.
Thank you everyone who is participating in the thread. I look forward to more good convo.
