[dixie]

I actually dealt with something like this with my boss a while back. Everyone in the nonprofit agency I work in, the state and federal caucus, and pretty much everyone who has known her the last few years was completely in shock when we found out the truth a couple months ago.

She is/was a very powerful and respected advocate for domestic violence. She was also a Desert Storm veteran and RN. She went all over the country telling the story of how she survived the attempted murder attack from her rich, powerful military husband. An attack in their palatial Kentucky home that killed her unborn baby. She survived and fled, changing her identity and doing advocacy work. She said her ex-husband went on to kill his second wife with a tire iron and then kill himself. She had no family, as her mother was deceased and her father hadn't spoken to her in years since she chose to live off of the Cherokee reservation. There were many more stories as well, about her struggles to survive and make a new life for herself while helping other dv survivors.

A couple months ago, odd things started to happen so our executive director decided to do a little digging into my boss' past. We were all outraged that the E.D. would risk the boss' life because her ex's powerful family was still looking for her. Come to find out, the digging changed EVERYTHING that we thought we knew.

The boss' entire life story, even her name, was a complete and total fabrication. She had been married to that man, but they were not wealthy. There was also no violence in that relationship (or in any of her others). He is still alive and well, still happily married to the second wife, and spoke fondly of the boss. Turns out, she had left him to marry her stepfather. Yes, stepfather. The man who was at the time married to her mother. Yes, the mother who was supposedly deceased is also alive and well. The mother and half-sisters were more than happy to tell us all about the day my boss announced to her family that she was running away with her mother's husband, the father of her half-sisters. That's when her family quit speaking to her. (Her father that she spoke of had actually not been in her life since the beginning.)

We also found out that the stepfather-turned-husband had died of mysterious causes, as had 3 more husbands afterwards. She is currently married to a really nice man and we're kind of worried about his safety as well, since he went from a healthy robust man when they married 5 years ago to a very broken, ill-health shadow of his former self currently.

Also, she had never been in the military and there is no nursing degree to any of the aliases that we know her to have. The hospital she claimed to work at... well, when we called them we found out that it shut down years ago and that it was a very strict mental facility. They were also able to tell us that she was not an employee, but a patient. Her mother confirmed this and said that she has had "issues" since she was a small child. (She is in her mid 40's.)

It was a total shock to know that my mentor and friend was a complete and total fraud. She has been diagnosed as a sociopath. All of the evidence that we have collected has been given to local and state authorities due to the multiple laws broken. She has also been black-balled by all the domestic violence agencies in the state. We're hoping that someone will do more digging into her past husbands' deaths and her current husband's illness. (The step-siblings are considering exhuming their father.) Every one is also on high alert given her threats of retaliation and her history of violence. (And the fact that she is heavily armed 24/7.) It was so sad and felt like such a betrayal. There is so much more to the story, but at least now we know. I do believe this is the first sociopath I have ran across in my personal life and hopefully the last.

I only had this person in my life for a short while, so I totally I feel for you for what you deal with concerning your mother.