[Lillie]

Originally Posted by Blade

In what ways have you treated or will you treat your children differently from the way you were treated?I chose to break the cycle of violence. My son is 24 and he was spanked once as a child, my daughter is 17 and she was spanked 2x. I chose a different path to teach them. I think that they live a great life because of it. I am proud of both of them. They will always come first in my heart and in my life. Thats very different than how I was raised.

If you've already raised children and could do it again knowing what you know now, what would you do differently?I think I would not hold on as tight to my 2nd child as I have. She has taught me a valuable lesson this past year. I am learning to let go of my own fears and let her live her life (within bounderies) as a teenager who I can trust

Did you continue on with anything that your parents did?No I did not. I chose different traditions and different ways of life. My kids never knew what a selfish parent was, never knew what a beating with a belt was...never knew what it was like to stay in a car at the age of 8 all dressed for easter and not allowed to go up to granma's house for easter dinner because she didnt want to wear a bow in her hair!.. I chose to start fresh..as if it should have been through my eyes growing up!.

The one think I also chose never to do was to allow anyne to tell me how to parent. I just enjoyed my kids..in all the things they did. I remember when my father came for a visit and was just appauled that my son had melted most of the army men on the radiator in my apartment. He started to yell at my son..and my son told him "gpa why are u upset..momma showed me how" ! lol..shut my dad right up..hahaha..After that my father never attempted to yell or scold my children..perhaps it was the look he got from me that very first time..or perhaps because before him stood a daughter he thought would be a tyrant like him but who was no such tyrant. Please understand I do not fault my dad for his behavior..He did what he believed he had to do to raise us..I just chose to break it and go off on my own to raise mine, with heart and love and understanding. And I honestly don't/didn't give a shit what anyone said about it..they were mine and I did what I had to do!..