[dixie]

Originally Posted by Waldo

Hey you fabulous people!

I'm sorry people, I've not been feeling all that Fabulously Singular lately. Well, mostly I've not been singular and there have even been a few days when I've not been feeling fabulous. But I'm back in the saddle.

Lesson #3: Learning to take, and give, a sincere compliment.

DISCLAIMER: I am not speaking about a compliment from a stranger or some lecherous random you've just met. I'm discussing compliments from friends, family, lovers or acquaintances.

Compliments are hard to hear because they come from a lens that we don't have the privilege of seeing through. Someone else is accessing you and making a comment they believe imparts worth. We can choose to "pshaw" the compliment and degrade the person making it, or we can choose to believe that they see something in or about us as valuable.

Let's just give people the benefit of the doubt and accept the compliment with grace, even if you don't feel that way about yourself. "No, I'm not", "Oh, not really", "Don't be ridiculous" or my personal fav "You HAVE to say that!" are not acceptable responses when someone compliments you.

A simple "thank you", "you're too kind" or "you're kind to say so." will, however, convey that you value their kindness without appearing to be too vain. If you're really just not feeling it you can even go as far as saying "you're a dear for saying so, but I'm just not feeling it today".

Until next time...

W

That's a really good one. It's also something I have been learning to do better at. It's easy if someone says "oh that's a cute top" or something general like that. However, if they're complimenting something about me then it's actually really uncomfortable because I obviously don't see what they see. I used to be really bad to mumble and say "nah..." while looking at my shoelaces but I'm getting better at just saying thank you. It really tickles me and makes me feel good when folks say something, it just feels kinda odd because I feel that they should be saying it to someone else, not me. I like giving compliments though.