[Rook]

Once upon a time, in a land faaaaaaaaaaaaaaar faaaaaaaaar away, things were slightly different than they are nowadays....

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Before:
"I want you back home by the time our street lights [or "Taps", if you're a military brat] turn on, understood? If I hafta hunt you down, u will be the sorest child on this block."

Now:
"I want you in bed & your XBox/Wii/Playstation 3 OFF by 1 am...comprende?"...(2:15 am) "Why are you still awake???It's a School Night !!"
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Before:
"I know you aint sittin down to eat before washin' your hands real well, go clean up!"

Now:
"There's a hand sanitizer by the microwave, use it."
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Before:
"I can help, but that's it, the rest is up to you, you're the student"

Now:
"Look it up on wiki, I'm tired."
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Before:
"Get your ass off that computer, damnit, wasting your time on that newfangled nerdy crap, the trash needs taking out .....MOVE IT!"

Now:
"Did you get done with Configuring my pc, checking for Viruses? Please tell me u went to the MCSA exams like I been reminding u for weeks..."
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Before:
"Did you just sass me??? Boy, I will feed you 5 fingers right quick to that ass, u got 5 seconds to chill and 2 just went by, I got soap, a belt, and alllll Night"

Now:
"Sweetie...please...you really need to settle down, or it's *time out* time on the la-z-boy".
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Before:
"You want what...? A Pool? Child we got a hose, and a basin....go swim. Too small for u? We got a nice Lake 3 miles down, u can use the exercise, just don't go near them pipes."

Now:
"You want to what...? Do you know how nasty them Lakes are?? poop all over the damn place, lord knows what dead crap in 'em, perverts and stuff, you take your narrow behind to the Community pool uptown, go on, here's 35$"