[Gráinne]

It's been my experience that when I hear bells, whistles and fireworks, I should be listening for sirens and alarms. Danger! Beware!

I don't trust the "Lust at first sight" anymore. Back when I was younger, I would go with it and usually end up with someone with phenomenal sexual chemistry with me, or a great lover, or both. I admit it was fun! However, we usually wouldn't have that much in common in terms of values and goals, and you can't base a lifetime on sex.

I'm fine now taking my time to check out the person, no matter how attractive she is or how attracted I am. If she's worth it, she'll take her time, too. I want great sex, sure, but also the compatibility that you only find by communication.

So I don't call it "settling", as in I'd better take whatever comes down the pike, but instead getting much pickier. I'd rather be happy single than miserable in the wrong relationship again.