OOOOH....I love an interesting lively debate....mmm hmm...
So much transpired in such a short period of time and I dont know how to quote multiple users from multiple threads....(if its even possible)
It Begins......
APretty-the ladies do not want to be compared with minivans and laz-e-boy recliners, no disrespect to your father--it's just no compliment to group us all together as if size = sugar and spice
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I wholeheartedly agree...while it has become a "pop culture" trend to use this phrase as a way to celebrate Women who are not what "society" deems as "Skinny", I feel that the unattractive comparison still reinforces the stereotype that skinny women are the fun wild loose Race car, and Curvaceous woman are the old reliable "safe" Mini-Van......
I completely understand that it isnt meant to be interpreted that way, and i am reading more into to be a bitch. Instead I am highlighting why sometimes we Unconsciously fall into traps we thought we were surly avoiding.....
Betenoire- Dude, I am all for a discussion about fat-positivity. But I'm a wee smidgen wary since "Go BBW" threads always end up with at least one asshat mentioning how they are afraid that they would crush, break, bruise, blah blah blah a skinny girl.
mm..hmm......I am not sure how hearing comments like that translate to you...but to me I hear'.....I can be careless needfully rough and dismissive of your needs physically and mentally. Why? Because I might want to be manhandled and fucking into submission OR I might want to be held rocked and made love to gently and treated like a delicate flower.....*Respect that while I may be a larger canvas, I am not any less breakable than a smaller one..
hippieflowergirl- succulent it just drips sin, dont it?
I
just wanted to see this word again....yea definitely a good word.....
The Shit pot has been stirred......
Kat6071-yes, that's how it should be...although I personally do not prefer..WAAAY TOO MUCH! THAT turns me off..either way.
I understand the comment was not judge mental but subjective to yourself and I respect that....However I think this statement is hurtful because you have eliminated and or alienated women by directly calling my issue of weight and self worth into question again. If someone said that to me I would immediately wonder If regardless of my Personality if i were "WAAAY TOO MUCH".......
Inuus-Sure I think the word is subjective and is open for interpretation. I dont think at all it has any requirements. Its all about what you are into and what your minds eye sees.
I have always been attracted to BBW. Ive never dated a woman that was what society deems thin. I dont have a set "size" within the BBW spectrum. Its all good to me. I have dated slightly plus size to alot bigger so to me there really isnt a set size although I wont lie Im sure there is a limit in size for me some place. I just have never reached that guess
I think this entire post kinda got pushed aside once the stirring of the afore mentioned pot occurred........
I love the last sentence...it is subjective, but open-minded. I really appreciate where your coming from here...
Wolfyone-Oh and maybe YOUR comparison is as YOU say, but don't put those words in my mouth. I would never disrespect any woman intentionally.
I just pulled out this snippet because I wanted to say the important part in this response is the Last sentence as well....Weight Sexiness, self-worth and opinions regarding them are touchy....there is hurt and pain and anger all around. It is easy to misinterpret letters on a screen because there is no author inflection to go along with it. I add attitude and snarkyness where none may have been intended .....a lot...I am working on reading without emotion so I can process the words intellectually before i respond emotionally...
Sachita-I know what you mean and I don't want to be defined unless you want to call me sexy, gorgeous and the like. lol
I try not to get caught up in words and old baggage but I admit that I still do. I'm a size 16, tall and really curvy. I'm healthy and truth is I can run circles around most women. I struggle with feelings of not being good enough. Always having to check myself when it comes to diet and weight issues. I focus on the quality of my life and eating things that are healthy & conscious when it comes to the earth.
At the same time I find that I am attracted to healthy people. If they are a little larger thats cool but I have a hard time being with someone that abuses their body and isn't conscious. For me its a matter of self respect. It's not about the size.
I casually dated someone years ago that was maybe 50 pounds overweight. I was ok with that but I wasn't ok with his overall lifestyle and how we'd take walks and within 5 min he was out of breath. He ate awful and to be honest I thought he'd have serious health issues. I suggested we "get healthy" together. Again its not about size. Even at my size I feel better 20 lbs lighter. He complained about his back, knees, etc. Ok, lets make a plan and lets do something about it. He was no ok with this. In fact he sabotaged my attempts and ultimately the relationship fell apart. In the past few months I've dropped weight just from eating healthy and feeding my spirit. I'm not focused on diet or weight. My focus is on healing my body and living healthy for another 50 years. I want to be that 80 year old woman ziplining through a jungle or riding a horse. I might still have a big round ass but my heart will be healthy and I'll be full of fire.
Ok there are quite a few things here that initially made me want to go off on an angry rant.....But I have read that everything I wanted to say was addressed and that not only did you acknowledge what happened....I think u "Get" it too......
The part I do want to focus on is the middle part.."I was ok with that but I wasn't ok with his overall lifestyle" to ME if you are not ok with my "Lifestyle" you are not OK with me...also the way it was worded made me feel like u settled for this person DESPITE the fact that he was Overweight....not in celebration of, or with a sense of pride in his size....The relationship seemed doomed from the start...You even Suggested that you get healthy together...which in MY experience always puts me on the defensive....All I think is "whats wrong with me that you feel the need to stage an intervention on something you assured me wasnt a concern of yours......or worse wasnt a concern of mine
Apretty-if you mean to say you're using the terms, BIG GIRL and FAT interchangeably, without shame, judgment, or apology--then you'd be correct. if you'd like to explore that *concept* with me, just ask.
I would LOVE to explore this concept with you as i think that we have been brainwashed into believing that there is something wrong with being Fatt, Curvy, or whatever.... There seems to be a definite Us and them mentality concerning weight, and I wonder what can be done to change this negative image....
Betenoir-Maybe you people want to take your comments off of the "Big Girl Love" thread and create your own "Medium Sized Girl who is maybe 10 lbs over what her doctor would like her to be but no more than that because more than that is gross" thread.
AMEN!!!
The pot simmers once again.....
Sachita-But you know it goes... a thread is often discussion and everyone has an agenda, opinion and before you know it it can go completely off topic. lol
I'm sorry I did this. I guess i had a point and opinion. Its not about size.
Thank you for acknowledging that what you posted COULD be seen negatively and that you Understand the LOVE for a Curvaceous person has nothing to do with their Lifestyle...healthy or not
Betenoir-
For me, I find that comments about health as it relates to fat....obnoxious. And comments about food as it relates to fat...equally obnoxious.
Your ex, if he was as unhealthy as you said he was, would have been equally unhealthy if he had a 26 inch waist. I'm willing to bet on that. Shitty lifestyle is shitty lifestyle no matter what size that lifestyle is packaged in. But this thread is -not- about shitty lifestyles, is it?
Pretending like there is no such thing as a healthy person in a size 18 dress is like pretending that there is no such thing as an unhealthy person in a size 8 dress. You're equating health and lifestyle with size - which is what got peoples hackles up. And it's also pretty inaccurate.
First I wanna say...u rock so hard!!! This is exactly my point! We have been brainwashed to associate everything fat with unhealthy and everything skinny with healthy....My granma used to say "i'd rather be Fat and happy, then skinny and sick"....The question that comes to me is; If your overweight with minor health issues (elevated cholesterol, out of breath after physical exertion) are you any more or any less healthy than a skinny person that also have the same minor issues?
Betenoir-It's a little stressful to think of Lane Bryant only using models from sizes 12-16 - since I am willing to bet that NO people who wear those sizes shop at Lane Bryant. They don't have to. So why would they?
I am actually a little surprised at this statement...If you were to make that bet you would be dead wrong. Depending on the manufacture I wear anywhere from a size 12 to an 18. I shop at lane bryant, Ashely Stuart and all the rest on a regular basis. I do agree its BEYOND fucked up that a disportionate amount of "PLUS SIZE" models are just "slightly heavier" versions of "regular" models....and it is particularly disgusting to see a company that makes there money from curvaceous women subscribe to this outrageous practice.
My two cents....
On this particular issue it pisses me off too because all the clothes look fantastic on the models pulled in and cinched perfectly but in reality look NOTHING like that on ANY woman regardless of size... it seems to me they down play the "size" of the clothing making things seem sexy but are selling clothes that "hide" shape rather than flatter it...
Now this isnt ALWAYS...but it has been MY experience lately.........
Peace and Love