Quote:
Originally Posted by Converse
Yes of course, all of the verbal assaults, the majority of which have happened when I’ve been with a Femme- I have never fully understood why, perhaps others have thoughts on that.
And of course the bathroom sagas of boyfriends waiting for me to come out after their girlfriends have told them about the “freak” they saw inside. Then an incident that started with a comment about my tie, as I stopped at a gas station late one night, that led to a car chase and some dented panels, and twice a gun held to my head; one from the Femmes family member who would have been able to “deal with it” if I “at least looked like a female”, and the other from a stranger in a parking lot who didn’t like the look of me.
I’ve felt rage and fear and embarrassment because of attacks, the first I remember happened in high school when I was held down so I could be branded with my very first “label” courtesy of a lit cigarette – but I think of everything, two incidents stand out for me the most: the first came on a beautiful sunny afternoon when an older woman beat me with a bible as I tried to walk past; and the second were the words that came from a family member who while offering me ice for a blackened eye said “well what do you expect walking around looking like that”.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cody
yes it happens more often then most will know alot of us/me just dont like to admit alot of the verbal that bothers...( me/us).. and i know i dont want to talk about any kind of sexual violence.. i think alot goes un reported because of butch pride... i know thats the case for me. if im asked where this scar or this bruise or why my distant state of mind i will pass it off as something else. every once in awhile ill talk about some of it to a close friend or my sister. it often makes me wonder if i some how bring it on myself for being who i am, not meaning putting my beliefs/lifestyle in everyones face. but for the simple things i do like wearing my levis,boots,tats, hair cut,ect. things i am confertable wearing
in response to a rep.... yes it happens everywhere!!
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Both of these posts make my heart ache. It aches for we butches, our transmembers and the experiences of femmes that happen. Some of us just have had some pretty violent attacks against us and I can so relate to often, just keeping it inside. One reason I was really glad to see this thread is because I do think we all can hold in this stuff. And it felt good to have a butch centered thread to talk about it all. Even though I hate hearing other's stories, it does feel like I am not alone. I'm sure this also goes for our many trans members and femmes. But I know it isn't easy to post about it- thanks.
To this day- and I am 60 years old, I have not told one family member about the violence/rape I have encountered as a lesbian and as a butch.