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Old 07-05-2011, 06:20 AM   #124
AtLast
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No matter the definitions of furry fetishes or role-play- and this does cover sexual activity in some cases. The point is that a 12 year old kid is saying he is uncomfortable with this exposure and his custodial parent is unaware of this situation. It also isn't about parents changing their behavior based upon this kid's feelings. This is about a kid feeling "forced" to be involved in a parent's fetish in terms of a public display. There doesn't need to be any sexual component at all involved.

It seems to me that both parents need to deal with this in a communicative manner with their child. They also need to educate themselves about the developmental stage he is in and also what (if any) negative effects forcing a kid to be involved in events and activities surrounding this fetish. This has no bearing on the father's continuing to act out his fetish desires- just without the kid being present.

I do find it odd that in a situation where parents are sharing custody that the father here would plan activities around this part of his life while spending time with his kid. Anyone that has had this experience knows how tough it is to spend time with your kid and usually one focuses on alone time with their kids in these situations. Something is off with this picture beyond this particular insistence on this kid being coerced in this one situation.

The bottom line is that his mother needs to be involved with what is going on here and these parents need to work out boundaries around this that attend to their son's feelings. Anything that could in anyway have a sexual meaning to a 12 year old or involve power dynamics that are between consenting adults could very well be felt by a 12 year old in ways adults can't imagine (or accurately remember). I would want to know exactly what it is that causes the discomfort and how he is viewing it from his pre-teen perspective. The hell with the adult perspectives- he isn't an adult. His perceptions of collars for example can be very different that adults with knowledge about the full range of sexual expression and non-explicit sexual expression that is related to adult relationship dynamics. This isn’t a cut and dried situation at all.
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