[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by NIGHTrambler

I have just found my way to this site and forum ---joined a few months ago - thought I would say hi ---I am enjoying this discussion thread ---as I was just having a discussion with a co-worker today about "stone" and "transgender" ---I am stone and although I "have" had top surgery -- and have also been on T in the past ---and I most certainly feel more "male" inside ---and look fairly male as well - I know exactly how I feel and what I am - but it is hard to "put" in words for others at times ---a friend calls me 80/20 - 80%male - 20% female -- thinks I am the best of "both" worlds ---but that doesn't always work out so well in the "real" world sometimes ---

As another poster commented - I ain't perfect - but I'm me ---and I like who I am ---I think there are as many ways to "identify" as there are people ---you just have to know who you are - be confident in that.

I am from a small community - where I am accepted (and blessed for that)- because I grew up here ---but 'understanding' or 'explaining' how I feel or identify is often times difficult ---or finding those wonderful femmes who love us stone butches ---where are you all hiding?

We are we? All around, yet as femmes we are not as easy to spot as a more masculine butch/stone butch/TG may be.

Back in 1992, I read the Joan Nestle book "The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader & yesterday, my Amazon copy of Persistence: All ways Butch and Femme was delivered. If you have not yet read them, they are both wonderful.

I love the newest one and the entry by Jeanne Cordova really resonated with me. One sentence in particular: "Lonely butches, particularly from Los Angeles-the lipstick-lesbian capital of the US-said they couldn't find other butches." Her reference was related to butches not transitioning but for me as a femme; it has been difficult to find a thriving butch-femme community in LA. It still pretty much looks like lipstick-lesbian city to me.
When I say butch, I am including the continuum of all things butch-including trans.

The book also has great femme contributors with terrific writing. Hope it is OK to recommend it here-no financial gain for me!

We femmes are not hiding, it is just not always easy to spot us!