[jelli]

Originally Posted by christie0918

Jelli -

Thanks for your response.

The unfortunate part of support groups, for me, has always been I have little patience for those who seem to get wrapped up in their issues, wearing them as a blanket to keep them warm - I tried an autism group when he was first diagnosed at 2.5 years and found that most times, it was just a lot of venting and not a lot of practical solutions. I feel like Jess and I spend enough energy talking about it and I just don't want to sacrifice any more of the precious time we have together to "boy issues."

I'm not dismissing anything that you or Tapu offered - really. You have no idea that just someone else heard me means so very much and I appreciate it. I know Jess does too.

Thanks again to you both -

Christie

I understand. One can get tired of presenting problems and not having any useful feedback and/or possible solutions.

With that being said, I like the idea of having him earn things back. Is this a reasonable direction to try? We were having trouble with our daughter and the counselor at one point suggested if it got bad enough to take everything from her room including her door. Give her choices to earn back her rights/things/etc. By choices she meant give her 2 choices that you can live with and let her choose one of those. You get what you want and they "think" they're somewhat in control.

Set up a barter system of sorts. can also use a timer so they can watch/hear when the time is about to be up so they can perhaps work a bit faster. Example: 20 minutes of cleaning could result in 20 minutes of X. If your son wants friends or gf to come over then what is that worth to him? What about racing him to get it done? "I bet I can get the laundry all folded before you take a shower." or perhaps going the opposite of calling him out and using lots of praise and rewards. Or a combination of these. Whatever you choose, be prepared to follow through though.

I know you've probably tried so many things, but I feel for you both and am scratching at what ever might work.

Stay strong together.