I have been reading your responses and appreciate the concern and support you all are offering.
It sounds cliche', but we (I) have literally tried most everything you all are suggesting. As Jess mentioned, he HAS made so much progress in his maturation. A little over a year ago, he tried to be waited on hand and foot and literally asked for a mini fridge for his room so he "wouldn't have to walk down the steps and through the house to the kitchen." Sid the Sloth from Ice Age comes to mind.
I would take his door off his room but remember that part about personal hygiene?? Uh, no. Not now, not ever. Sometimes the smell seeps under and through the upstairs foyer. Febreeze and pet-odor candles are making a mint off us.
Something is going to give and its not going to be us. I always remind him that I will win, well, because I do and he might do well to remember that - I may have moments when I feel like just throwing up my hands and hoping for the best, but that doesn't last long. Less than 24 hours and Momma is heading home. He best be ready.
Thanks again - maybe there will be a lightbulb moment before I have a psuedo monster truck rally in the front yard using his stuff to crush. Stay tuned - there might be a youtube before the weekend is up.
(disclaimer: I don't think I really will do that, but heaven knows I have done more drastic things in the past over different issues - never with him)