Originally Posted by Heart
Chazz is right about the pain and hurt in these discussions. Also anxiety, sadness, frustration....
To share a bit further about my experience:
Just as I recognize the privilege that transmen garner, (even when they refuse to), I also recognize the misogyny and sexism that transwomen deal with. Hate crimes and violence towards transwomen is off the charts high.
I think we may have a differing points of view about the "privilege" "transmen garner".
I don't see "passing" as a privilege for anyone. Nor do I see an assumption of male entitlement as a "privilege", either. To the extent that, that ever happens, it's buying in and selling out.
You, me, anyone can buy into any given oppressive paradigm, but does it serve us. I mean REALLY serve us? (This may be me being spirit focused, but hey....)
I'm sorry when hate crimes happen to anyone. Absolutely, ANYONE. It behooves all of us to get to the core of what causes hate crimes with an unblinking eye. I suspect we are all complicit in hate crimes, each in our own way.
I work in a field (anti-domestic violence) founded by 2nd wave feminists in the 1970s, many of whom were lesbians. The inability of many of the providers in this field to provide safety or services for transwomen who have been raped or were in abusive relationships (most often with a straight man), is deeply disturbing and divisive.
It's a much as most lesbians can do to provide for themselves, their children and one another, to the extent that they do and can. (Hell, my community has an impossible time keeping lesbian businesses open because lesbians are so short of resources.)
But, in the spirit of fairness, I promise to refer my lesbian and straight DV clients to DV shelters started, operated and financed by transwomen.
I have worked with other lgbtq advocates to help grass roots feminists shift their thinking on this. Yes, we have used "gender theory," which frankly hasn't been very useful. I did a presentation about using a more "gender neutral" lens at a conference once and the mainstram feminists in the room got up and walked out.
I'm sorry that happened to you. It must have felt awful, but people are entitled to vote with their feet.
It's clear to me that we do not have to change our feminist, anti-patriarchal frmework one jot in order to bring transwomen into safe spaces, because transwomen are very vulnerable to patriarchal oppression and danger. But that's been a hard message to get across. The feelings of suspicion, threat, and betrayal within the feminist advocacy community remains intense. I think we have to shift away from gender-speak and go back to language and tools rooted in feminism in order to continue the discussion.
I think it's okay for Feminists to have different perspectives about what constitutes "suspicion, threat, and betrayal" and any given identity. I think it's okay for women to choose, for themselves, how they wish to allocate their time and resources (where and to whom) without being pressured, cajoled or guilt tripped. The afore mentioned happens all the time in "our" current community. We are uniformly expected to jump onto the band wagon of the day, when it's all some of us can do to master our own particularistic destinies and self-understanding.
I may be a butch, but I may choose not to get involved with a "Butch Rights" movement. I can't imagine hanging out with the folks currently running BVs, for instance. This doesn't mean I'm suspicious, threatened, feeling betrayed", or wish them harm, or would be indifferent to their plight should harm befall them.... It means, my interests and proclivities lie elsewhere. Their deal doesn't speak to me. It doesn't further my understanding of myself as a woman IDed butch. Should I ignore my imperatives in the name of someone else's version of "solidarity"? Rally around other's cause(s) rather than my own? Send a check? What? ....I listen, I introspect, I choose, and then I act according to the beat of my own drummer.
One of the worst elements of 2nd Wave Feminism, in my estimation, was the pressure mostly white and/or privileged Feminists brought to bear on all women to adopt their agenda. And when "we" (lesbians, WOC, B&Fs....) didn't, we were castigated, vilified and tagged as being - %*#^@.
I see this happening, still, in the current LGBTQ constellation. It is precisely what the folks at BVs are doing. That kind of politic is wrong even in the post-modern world of abject subjectivity. Either subjectivity is equal for all, or it's a crock of diddlysquat awarded to the self-anointed, privileged few - based on what? Who is more oppressed, battered, subjected to hate crimes? That is oppression Olympics redux.
What I am reminded of, (thanks to this thread), is that patriarchy makes it hard for us to trust each other. - Heart
Exactly.... My "trust" isn't garnered when my personal agenda is set for me. Nor is it nurtured when I'm pressured or guilted into supporting people, places and things that don't "speak" to me, honor my boundaries or identity, or my take on reality. I'm a live and let live person. That's as much as I can do and stay my own course. I'll meet-up with everyone else where our imperatives intersect.
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