There are a couple of things I need to say, mostly because I can't get it out of my head and partly because I'm hoarse from saying "NUH UHHH" at my screen.
First, (and Kobi, this isn't meant to pick on you so please don't take it that way), I want to clarify how and why the "Lesbian Zone" came into creation on this site. It actually was out of multiple discussions but mostly because AtLast wouldn't let it go (wink at you, Atlast, you know I adore your tenacity!). My recollection wasn't that there was a throng of angry Lesbians demanding it, it was that we had a few folks who thought it would feel more validating so I begrudgingly implemented it.
The "begrudgingly" part is still there. Vehemently.
I need to talk about that or my head might explode.
I have said 100 times that a Lesbian zone on this website is redundant. To make a "zone within a zone" on a website where the core/essence/foundation is Lesbian is redundant and has bothered me since day one.
Not saying that I haven't found it to be super delightful at times, but it has pushed some buttons for me that I have been very apprehensive to talk about. Until now.
My "begrudging" implementation of the "Lesbian" zone is not because I'm an agent of the Patriarchy and am wanting to deny the voices of Lesbians. It's because I was and am super fearful of creating a space that has the HUGE potential to become militant and separatist and unwelcoming to Transwomen, Transmen, and even BUTCHES based on my own experiences as an out Lesbian of 20 years.
Is that Lesbian-phobic? Remember, I'm a Lesbian.
That is me, as a Lesbian, acknowledging that we as Lesbians have the ability to fence ourselves into tight spaces based on identity, politics, and gender theory even if we, as Lesbians, are often super pissed off when someone who is not identified as a Lesbian talks openly about this.
There have been instances of denial on this very site where someone who identifies as Lesbian tries to paint this rosy picture of Lesbian history where no instance of misandry, identity-fencing, presentation-fencing, separatism, or militancy has ever existed and the very idea of mentioning a diametrically opposed experience is enough to invoke cries of "unsafe!" or "anti-Lesbian!" or worse, the "Patriarchy".
Well guess what, I'm not the fucking Patriarchy. I'm a Lesbian and I have witnessed and been part of it. And I'd venture to guess that the vast majority, if not all of us, have experienced or contributed to it in one form or another at some point in our Lesbian lives.
To deny that does not do us any service. In fact, it's privileged and inauthentic.
Let a Transman talk about his experience of growing up in a Lesbian commune, identified as a Lesbian, and make a statement like "had a I been like most Lesbians 30 years ago, I would have hated him based on his gender" and we'll be talking about it a year later.
We'll also say that because one Transman made that statement that the entire BFP experience is anti-Lesbian.
Let the Mods and myself say "We could have done that better" and we'll talk about how we're quick to call out racism and transphobia but we let anti-Lesbian sentiment slide on some premise of Patriarchal adaptation.
Even if we're Lesbians.
Even if the Transman in question comes back to clarify the context.
Even if he further clarifies that he was talking about the "Lesbians he knew".
Even if he's no longer a member of this site.
Even if it was said in the Red Zone where we have said multiple times we DO NOT MODERATE.
Even if we create a Lesbian zone, add language in multiple places to our TOS, and do our best to tap that shit.
Do I sound butthurt and defensive? I am.
I'm a Lesbian who was called "anti Lesbian" by other Lesbians. I took that shit hard and I take it hard now when, a year later, we are still talking about it.
I felt that because it was a Transman making the comment, his history of living as a Lesbian (which he spoke heartfully about) was erased and that his head would need to be affixed to a stick to satisfy that we had taken the issue seriously.
I felt that there was some serious denial going on about the militancy that can happen in Feminist and Lesbian circles. I'm a Lesbian and I can acknowledge it. But if a Transman even alludes to it, it's seen as Lesbian-bashing. What is that about?
We have this space and someone makes a shitty comment about Transwomen.
We had the Red Zone and someone made a shitty comment about Lesbians.
I keep rolling it over in my head how speaking about something you actually experienced (even if the filter is fucked up) is NOT. THE. SAME. as invoking hurtful and highly-insensitive terminology such as "once men" in a "Lesbian Zone" where Transwomen have experienced historical marginalization.
I am a Lesbian and I support my Lesbian sisters. ALL of them. And that means that I hold in my memory the echos of all of the MWMF's where Transwomen were treated like dogs outside the gates. That means that I don't sweep that shit under the rug or pretend like that very same separatist thinking doesn't STILL exist. Because it does.
We are all responsible for this space. Not just this zone, but this site. My hope was that we'd all be invested in sharing our experiences with one another and learning from one another.
One of the things that triggers me about having separate Lesbian space on a Lesbian site is that it pushes so many of my personal buttons about identity fencing. It becomes easy to discount voices as "Patriarchy" even if those same voice share our history.
I think we can celebrate our shared Lesbian herstory and listen to the voices of those who do share, will share, and have shared that path, even if those voices are now deeper.