[sylvie]

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

I never thought I had an eating disorder untill I had to face the fact that I had near eaten my way to being a diabetic,even then I was in denyal for a while.I mean fruit is healthy...right....bread is or was supose to be good for ya.I mean food is what keeps me going from one carb high to another day after day.What really brought it to me like a cold slap in the face was over the last mardi gras season,I was takeing some pies that had sat in the friges for a fue days so I desided to throw them away...I did ok till the last one,a pecan pie.I walked to the fridge to take it out to the trash on way out the door I picked up a fork ..one more bite for the road.....wrong...I sat on the trunk of my car at 10pm stuffing as much pie in my mouth as I could.I swear I heard a voice say, Hey fool look what u r doing,I stoped to c who it was then I realise it was my inner voice telling me each bite was like playing russian roulett one bite at the time.I had to finaly admitt I was ging to have to own up to my eating habits and fast.Over all now some months later I have changed my eating habits slowly one day at the time to where im in controle of what goes in my mouth.I journal every thing I eat and journal how I feel before I do anything..it has kept me acountable to myself.I have lost weight,inches and two pants sises,I have gone from 303 to 249 since January of this year.I have some more to go but I know I can get there and maintain it when I do.

First of all, a super huge congratulations to you on the weight loss.. wow, that's fantastic, seriously!
i often worry about diabetes as well and honestly, i have no clue why i dont have it, considering the amounts of food i have eaten , high in sugar, salt etc.. i get tested every so often and it always comes back with great sugar results, so ive been very lucky.. Not to say it wouldnt have happened if i would have continued though..

But i sooo know the feeling, on that binging and devouring the food and hearing that voice.. my voice sadly tells me the opposite, to keep going.. i know it's a bad thing and that's my fight right now, keeping myself accountable and making these changes despite what the inner me is telling me to do.. i kind of have to step outside of myself sometimes and look at the big picture, what my goals are and what do i have to do to achieve them.. But it takes one little mistake of putting something in my mouth that i shouldn't to throw me all out of whack..

i keep saying i am going to be faithful about journalling what i eat.. i started doing it a few times and never kept it up.. i do know its important to do, and should, because seeing it there in print would probably help me stay on track more..

thank you for sharing Rockinonahigh, i sooo appreciate it and keep up the great work!