[ScandalAndy]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

I see your point. I think where my brain was at was the use of trans or cis as applied by others, to others. Cause I've seen a heap of that, especially online. it's a very casual use of a descriptor. I've done it online, though I do make an effort to avoid it as much as possible. If someone self identifies, fab. But just like the "just me's" who ask what the name is for those who don't ID as butch or femme, because having a dichotamy infers only two choices - what is there for those who don't feel cissticks properly? Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not. I personally don't think I'd fit into that - femme fits me because for me, it is it's own gender - therefore I can do anything with it and I don't need anything else.

I wouldn't want to remove terms from those who have a home in them. I'm quite attached to mine, so I know the feeling.

I guess I don't really have certain kinds of conversations any more in my flesh life, even though I hang out with mostly genderqueer people of various different shades than I ever did on the west coast. I wonder why that is. I never ask people how they define any more, I honestly don't care. However if they want to talk to me about it, I'm perfectly happy listening. I'm happy talking about all kinds of ID they have in regards to sexuality (pan, bi, lezz, heteroflexible wotever...) or gender, but I only really debate it much when I come *here* to this sight. Not that it's a bad thing, but slowly, it's getting more and more foreign, I think.

I dunno perhaps my brain just stalled about five years ago and the damp has set in.

You know, that's a good question. Why don't we have these conversations anymore? Is there a shift in what is considered important? Am I overlooking something? Have you evolved past wanting to pick apart these things? Is it okay that I am still knee deep in wanting to know why and how and throw myself into all the experiences I can because I want to know how it feels and how I can help? Will I some day be able to leave this crazy turmoil of having to defend my opinion?

I don't know the answers to these questions, and I thank you for inspiring me to take a closer look. Maybe I am getting too bogged down and failing to see the forest for the trees.