Quote:
Originally Posted by lettertodaddy
and while her gender presentation may be masculine, she uses feminine pronouns to refer to herself and doesn't want to be a man.
I have noticed that there are a lot of butches here -- some of whom are transitioning, some of whom are not -- who use masculine pronouns and names to identify themselves. They don't consider themselves female or women, their gender presentation and identity is male. They think of themselves as men.
My question is this: where does the butch end and the transman begin?
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I appreciate that your question here and your other posts have been done in a respectful way. Many of the guys have already given their takes on this and really many here have been answering this question and similar ones for a few years now.
Now, I will give you my version. I have wondered for years, where does Butch end and Transman begin. For me, it is a blurry line. I have always seen "Butch" as a third gender. I have never seen myself as a woman, female bodied, yes, but not the same as other women. Not better, just not the same.
I cling to my identity as a butch because it is how I have seen myself for most of my life, since my teen years. Back in the day, there was not the "Trans" option. This opened up quite a bit for myself and others similar to me. It changed my thinking about gender. For me, I can no longer stand by the binary model of gender. Male or Female and nothing in between. I have "transitioned" but that has only aligned my outer presentation with more of how I see myself, masculine appearing. On my inside, I am pretty much the same person.
I do not want to be a "man." I want to express who I am, how I feel on the inside. I feel and express primarily in the masculine. I also am very cognizant of my history, I was born into a female body. I do not view this as a mistake. I see it as part of my life journey and why I am here. In fact being born into a female body and primarily expressing as masculine has been a gift, a plus. For many years I did not see it as a gift, now I do.
For me, how could I ignore where I came from? Where this round of my journey began? I am fortunate that I have an identical twin sister. I have had this feminine expression mirroring me and I mirroring her for a lifetime. We are made of the same DNA and yet express so differently.
There are times I do use the term "Transman" to explain myself. In my mind and
for me, Transman and Butch are at times the same. This is not true for others. I think to make it easier at times, I just use the short hand and inclusive term, Queer to self identify.