Funny how a year can change things . . . . .
My two sisters (one a year older than I - the other a year younger than I) have ALWAYS been my best friends. We could go to each other for anything.
As young children, we fought. Someone borrowed a dress without asking <screaming> Mom - tell her to give it back. Who borrowed those shoes <shouting> Mom - one of the girls took my shoes and now they're all scuffed up. Who looked at my Diary <yelling> Mom - someone was looking at my Diary, I can tell by the way it was put back.
Ah, those were the days!
Then one day - we realized we were adults . . . where did the time go? My sisters then became more than just sisters. We became each others confidant - supporters - best friends.
Once a month, a mandatory "Sisters Day". Didn't really matter what we did, dinner, shopping, sitting at each others kitchen tables with a cup of tea. For years, we kept this routine. Three way calls - another necessity. God forbid someone had news, we didn't share it unless all three of us were on the phone together.
Years passed - our devotion to one another never waivers. Then . . .
DEATH: We lost our beloved Father, the leader of the family, the one man that could do no wrong, our everything. It destroyed us all.
We all mourned differently - we have lost loved ones over the years, but never did we lose someone that hit us with this magnitude.
We all knew we needed space - just a little bit of time to all work through this on our own. Only a few months went by . . . . then . . . .
CANCER: First one sister - one month later, the other sister. A few months later, then Mom. Cancer sneaked in to them all.
We hadn't learned how to cope yet, a piece of our hearts had gone with Dad, we're still not complete, how do we now tackle this? We are still going through it with Mom. Death and Cancer has torn each one of us away from one another. More separation . . . .
My sisters needed a different type of support than I could offer. They leaned on spouses, other victims they met through treatment.
My life took a different turn, a horrible accident at work has temporarily disabled me. Healing I'm told, will take close to 2 years.
More change, I became single again. I needed my sisters. They were fighting Cancer. More separation . . .
Mom's Cancer has spread. The Mastectomy didn't catch it all. So now we're preparing. All in different ways again. More change. More separation . . .
Fear has now set in. Fear that we will drag each other down even further keeps us apart.
I miss my Sisters, they were my best friends, we could go to each other for anything.
I know we'll drift back. Once we all come back from this very dark and black place we know as grief, we'll come back to one another.
Until that day, I remain lost - solitary - alone.
One day, it will all come back, come back as it should be, come back as we've all learned our lesson on how to cope individually, we'll come back.
My message to all of you, tell your best friend how much you love them. Hold on to one another when difficult times arise, don't let go for a minute. As a best friend, you want to save them from the darkness. Allow them to come with you. Should you let go, you'll become sequestered. Hold on to one another and never let go.
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