[Julie]

I don't want to be memorialized -- I do not want my name in the paper, or upon a headstone - I do not want an epitaph of any kind. I would just want to know, before I closed my eyes for the last time, that if I had hurt you - I had the opportunity to apologize and if you have hurt me, that I had the opportunity to let you know you are still loved by me. I think the worst thing, when someone dies - is the ending. Words not said or heard by one another. I want complete closure and I want the people who love me and I love, to have the same. I have been most blessed with this. I have no person in my life that I have not had complete loving closure with, regardless if it was an unexpected death or an expected death.

My body... It is in my mind, simply an empty shell. All of my organs will go to others, for whatever purpose might seem appropriate - that could include my skin and limbs. I just want to be sure I am really dead. I have this ongoing fear, that I will wake up and feel the pain of the process. It has been a fear for me since I was a child. Whatever remains, I would want to be cremated and placed in the Hudson River where my dad is.

I am not afraid of dying or death and often imagine I will welcome it when it does happen. I do believe in the other side and I do believe in reincarnation. I do believe I will see those who went before me. It gives me great comfort and hope.

Julie