[QueenofSmirks]

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

uh oh, now I feel bad. I've used the statement "I see you as a man" before to partners who were feeling really insecure because people in their lives had insulted them and called them a woman, or a dyke. They identify as male, and that's exactly who they are to me. I certainly didn't intend to offend with that, though. Is there a better way to say "no, in my head I"m not thinking you're just a woman in man's clothing" or "no, i don't think you're a dude dressing up like a girl". Those terribly offensive statements crush people I care about, and I want to find a way to tell them that their identity is valid to me and I respect them.

Don't apologize for use of that statement. Ten people in one online thread don't speak for an entire community of people. One person's insult is another's affirmation. A friend of mine was transitioning several years ago and asked me "How do you see me?" I said "I've always seen you as a guy." He hugged me. It wasn't offensive to him, it was exactly what he was hoping for.