[tazz]

wow... i love this thread... so empowering and healing

Have you ever held a grudge?
yes...at times. this is a work in progress with myself. when i feel toxic/negative energy i tend to walk the other way and maintain my own sense of boundaries and distance.

Ever had to let a friend go because they were toxic? Yes. unfortunately, the people i removed or removed me were too much drama... always taking... never thanking... very needy. after the fact, i would ask myself what about my persona is attracting such peeps? was i lonely? was the care taker coming out in me again?
in friendship and with people who are acquaintances i find myself feeling like i want to make sure they are safe/ok/in good hands. i realize i cannot take care of anyone... so i learn to live and let live.

Ever had to tap dance around someone because they were in your circle of friends somehow? i dont tap dance anymore. i used to... and was always snarked at while doing so. so now i'm just very clear, direct, and blundt. so, now i am sometimes called "curt." another work in progress.

How do you do it gracefully? uhmm i guess my walking away is my gracefull way of leaving.

How do you do it without turning it into a community/family/friends free-for-all? i pull the person aside and speak my peace in a very diplomatic manner and hear their side. then, i put the relationship in a coffin and nail it shut.
i need to. i know this may sound extreme, but, this is my metaphor for having self-worth, self-empowerment, and good boundaries.