I'm curious about the author's use of the word "grudge." I have always related a grudge to be a negative thing that I'm doing such as not letting go of a past hurt or slight. However, the author seems to suggest it's a positive thing...like a shield that helps keep her sanity in check and the negative people at bay.
As she listed off groups, I could easily identify people in my life that at one time or another fit into each one. Most are no longer a part of my life. So in that aspect, I guess I do put boundaries up in order to save myself a whole lot of heartache and sorrow. People who are no longer a part of my life? A few select exes, friends who were more emotional vampires than anything, friends who were only there when they wanted something from me, a family member who was overly opinionated and argued down anyone who dared to offer a differing opinion, and friends who lived in a whirlwind of drama. Like other posters, I generally just walk peacefully away.
I, too, have been "let go" and, as Arwen mentioned, it does hurt. A lot. Sometimes I understand and sometimes I don't. Of all the people no longer a part of my life, losing the friendships always seems to be the hardest on me emotionally. Once the sting's gone, I try to look at the situation objectively and ask myself what I could or should have done differently. Sometimes I really am at fault. Other times, it's both parties involved. I
Great topic, Arwen.
