[sylvie]

my beautiful, adorable Nanny G...

She is currently living in the Nursing Home i work at, which is wonderful, for both of us because i am with her most everyday.. my grandmother was always so independent, she raised 5 children on her own and when my mother was raising me, my grandmother was there for me, most everyday and always gave me her time, her love & smiles.

While it is wonderful to have her near, and be there for HER now, everyday.. it is equally wonderful that she has me near too.. The progression of her Dementia is very difficult to watch though- and seeing this everyday breaks my heart.. As well as the lack of visits from family, etc...It is so frustrating for her, i can feel it and i can see it, in her tears and her outbursts and she's just not herself because of it.. i know having me near makes it easier for her, and THAT is what strengthens me to spend every moment i can with her, despite the hurt of the changes in her everyday..

Right now, we're dealing with Sundown Syndrome, and the last few days her outburts have gotten far worse.. It exhausts her, and her confusion and loneliness make me so sad for her.. So, i do my best to spend every moment i can with her, even going there on my days off, just so she has someone familiar, and someone to help her smile & laugh.. i try my best to make this easier for her, and i can't help being angry at times that this wonderful woman, who gave her whole life to her children & grandchildren is dealing with this.. It hardly seems fair..

And i wish there was more i can do.. i adore Nanny G, with all my heart..& will always do what i can to make her days have some smiles, some love & something familiar...to calm her when i can & to give her my time.. Because her time was always precious to me, and i hope i can help her feel that in return when she needs it most.