[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Sachita

I see myself definitely in a matriarchal family where I am alpha and very much as you described Dee. There has to be a spiritual element even if that is unconditional love and devotion. For me to care for, control, own, etc. I must have the exchange of complete control and devotion. In order for me to orchestrate the entire family dynamic I must be informed of how each person feels, thinks and monitor/own their movement. I enjoy full control- mind, body and soul. The more control one gives me the more I flourish. Some don't want the responsibility where I thrive on it. It would be the only way I would agree to a poly household. In fact at this point the only type of relationship I seek. It doesnt have to have bdsm, outward kinky play, although that would be nice, but more importantly a highly spiritual female led dynamic.

Those are wonderful attributes of a great Master IMO. Our energy in this house, which we thrive on is M/s and for Syr and I also D/g. It is very powerful and I feel that I am under an umbrella of protection and caring.

I am expected to say what is on my mind if asked, I am not allowed to withhold, and Syr had to learn to be ready for me to unload. Without the prompting I won't say anything, and that is not good. My feelings are never dismissed although I may be told I am over reacting or to put my focus elsewhere. I have gone to my Syr for years for things in my life, only now, they directly affect Her, so much has changed.

My Syr is responsible for me. Not once has She ever made me feel like a burden or a bother, She has pulled Her hair out at times, but that's part of the life here lol. I am also expected to take care of Her property by eating well ( an ongoing struggle) and feeling fulfilled in all facets.

We started out long distance in a wonderful D/s, it was perfect for us both at the time and it just kinda happened. She has been my rock since then. My sister has and is a great mentor for me, that will always be I feel.