[weatherboi]

Neil Patrick Harris portrays a sexist, straight, asshole on a top rated prime time tv sitcom. A lot of what he says on that show makes me clutch my pearls. The straight world adores him on that show. Our kids watch it and all their friends watch it and love the show and him. His joke helps support creating a culture of uncertainty when it comes to transitioning just like many of the jokes from his show are at the expense of women and people he values less than, once again supporting sexist oppressive culture.

Predicting how low my voice will get when i go on testosterone will be luck and genetics. It is only gonna deepen so much no matter how much T i take. I know it will eventually settle in to a different range but there is no guarantee my final result will be a deep enough range to pass or to relieve voice dysphoria anxiety. T causes thickening of the thyroid cartiledge in the neck. This is an irreversible change i will be taking on with a result i may or may not be happy with. All this knowledge i sit with has in the past caused me fear and anxiety.

Obviously i am not a teenage boy, the physiology and everything is just different. My everything in the throat area is not as flexible for growth, scarring and tearing because that is what is going to happen. Just like the cartiledge in the rest of my body will do as I work out this late in life to gain muscle mass. Lots of irreversible damages will be caused with sometimes often life affecting consequences fucking around with our bodies to become who we are. 10 years ago a doctor told me that i wouldn't need a hysterectomy while taking T. Now I am told that is not true that T can break down the cervix, atrophy i guess, developing a need for a preventative surgery orrrrrrrr i can just wait for it to become a life threatening situation and take it from there.

Where I live, I have seen a gay man belittle his lover by calling her a fucking tranny when he was mad at her. It is something that happens all the time. I have heard straight men and women refer to transgender women as tranny freaks. If I witness it used hatefully I am probably gonna get angry. If I hear it used by my community I am probably gonna say something depending on who is claiming it. What I am not gonna do is lighten up over it. It is wrong for certain people to claim or use the word tranny. Just like it would be wrong for me to claim and use the word lesbo.