My 3 non-negotiables, learned the hard, painful way:
1. Total, absolute honesty-no matter how difficult it may be. Not the kind of honesty that says: "Why yes, your ass looks as wide as the Golden Gate bridge in those jeans". This actually could be said differently and still be honest- " I just love how you look in those jeans you wore the other day- so hot on you".
I digress: honesty is the cornerstone of a healthy, functional relationship. To me. Period.
2. Fidelity. Once the "I love you, only you, no cheating in this relationship" has been stated: Honor it or get the fuck out. Note to self: make damn sure you actually follow through with consequences, if this should rear it's ugly head in your next relationship. No more second, third (lost count in last long-term relationship) chances. Zip, nada. I have regained my balls, so-to-speak.
3. Kindness, affection, empathy, sense of humor, flexibility, mutual respect and regular, hot sex- are all rolled into #3. They are all equally important to me.
This is not asking for too much is it?
__________________
~Anya~
Democracy Dies in Darkness
~Washington Post
"...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable."
UN Human Rights commissioner