[foxyshaman]

Well I de-freaking-railed on the weight loss train ride this week. For three days. Holy Mackinoli triggers can run deep. The way I stopped... I *noticed* I was unconsciously eating yesterday. I have worked hard on being conscious. Very hard.

So, here I am today; present, aware and working on my "behaviour tables" to recognize the trigger. Abandonment - check. Not feeling safe - check. And then taking ownership of the part I CONSCIOUSLY TOOK in participating in a situation that would trigger me. Silly little fox.

Today, is a good day. As part of my spiritual preparation I am fasting. That is not uncommon in shamanic work. Empty vessel to be filled. Fasting has always been a wonderful event for me. I have been fasting for almost twenty years (not like every day ).

Now, please do not send me links or articles telling me the downside to fasting... I have read them. Fasting for spiritual reasons is fulfilling. Ironic, but true.

My first ten day fast gave me epiphany after epiphany regarding my addiction to food. Apparently those epiphanies were short lived or I just re-buried the truths. <insert rueful grin here>. However, I feel those realizations deeply within myself and have drawn upon them repeatedly in the last year.

Today my fast is one of ABSOLUTE GRATITUDE. I offer my body as the empty vessel to be filled with spirit, love, grace, compassion, Eros, my song and my drum.

I am safe. I am not abandoned. I am loved. I am okay. (and repeat)

Thanks for listening.