Member
How Do You Identify?: femme
Preferred Pronoun?: she, her
Relationship Status: feeling pretty darned blissful right now!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: central AR
Posts: 856
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I am a Femme, who prefers to be in a relationship where both parties can feel open to initiating sex.
My last relationship was like that at first. Even though I had a higher sex drive than she did, she "kept up" for the first several months, and both of us initiated and responded back.
Then life experiences happened to her, and she had to take a break. I pulled back in respect to her need for a break, but always let her know that I was there for her. I tried initiating on several occasions, trying to see if she was ready to come "back". We had LOTS of discussions about it (yes, communication is key!), and she would always just let me know not yet. At one point, however, it got to where I was feeling like my trying to initiate was crossing a line. I mean, for both of us. She felt pressured (hell, who wants THAT??), and I felt rebuffed. I finally told her that I would stop trying to initiate anything, and just let HER decide to come to me when she was ready again. I didn't want to feel that icky stuff of being pushy (to me that bordered on abuse). And it is no good for anyone's ego to be constantly turned down, you just end up quiting asking.
Well, she never came back. Even after 3 yrs. So that, combined with other dysfunctions in the relationship, ended it.
She's now found someone else. Oh well.
(sorry for the rant)
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