[1QuirkyKiwi]

I can’t offer any advice on guardianship of your Granddaughter, but, ‘I may be able offer some insight from the perspective of being raised by Grandparents….

My twin brother and I were raised by our maternal Grandparents from babies….both our Grandparents were in their 50s when they took over guardianship of us. They both did jobs with shifts, so, sometime (not often) family would babysit us until they finished work.

I know it wasn’t easy for them having to raise two children again at their age, especially one with a Neural Tube Defect and not knowing how this would affect my mobility as I grew up….fortunately, they were both very physically active so were able to invest their energies in us.

My brother was the quiet confident one, where as I was the unsure (not insecure), emotional, sensitive one….this probably made ‘parenting’ my brother easier for them in some respects. What I always remember about being raised by my Grandparents was how they handled each situation and were happy to sit and talk about our feelings, their thoughts and the out come.

In some ways they were strict, yet, they always explained their reasons why and when one of us (usually me, lol!) over-stepped the mark, then they would enforce the ‘punishment’ accordingly (usually being grounded for a set time period or doing extra chores, etc). My Grandparents had their hands full with me as I wanted to explore the world around me and when they understood that my SB wasn’t going to stop me, they helped me focus my energies and attentions on what I wanted to do….I still had reasonable limitations within what I could physically do, as well as their financial resources.

We also, had daily chores to do, along with a daily routine that only differed when we were away on holiday or at Christmas….meal times were family times and we had family nights in where we’d watch movies or play games….this included time spent with family on the Marae (tribal family land) and when family visited from overseas.

Once the chores and homework was done, we were free to do our own things (within reason, lol!), as long as we were home by our curfew time. If for any reason we would be late, we had to phone and explain why….so, if my girlfriend’s parents were giving me a lift home and I’d be 15 minutes late, then they would meet me at the garden gate. If I was getting a Taxi home, they would come and get me instead.

Yes, there were times when I felt frustrated with them over certain things, but, looking back now, I can understand why they did the things they did. As my Grandmother said, she was having to rise children again, only this time she had a better idea how too, even though it still wasn’t easy, especially as my generation had more influences then our Mother’s.

For us, it all came down to open communication about our wants, needs, desires and feelings and our Grandparents communicated openly and freely with us….no subject was Tapu/taboo.

I hope all works out for you.