[AlexHunter]

I've been enjoying reading through this thread. It's inspired me to share my own self-identification, which I hope will be interpreted in a positive, drama-free manner. YMMV, ya know?

I identified as stone butch for many years. The biggest reason I did was because I absolutely hated being touched down there and instead of exploring the convoluted nature of my sexuality, I stuck the label on it and was done. Access denied. No. Touching. There. Ever.

Then, I was with a partner who tore my walls down - I don't mean vaginal ones, but emotional ones. She made me comfortable because I knew she saw me the way I saw myself - a man. To this day, I rarely even remove my clothes during sexual activity, unless we have an immense bond of trust and comfort. I was happy to lie naked with her because I knew I was seen for me.

I do not identify as a transman, though I did seriously consider transition at one point. I say I am genderqueer or transgendered but not transsexual. I see myself as mostly male, but have no desire to surgically or hormonally modify my female body.

I eventually let her go down on me, after several months of being together. I told her exactly what I wanted her to do. She got me off the second time she tried. I really enjoyed it.

I received "flesh head" many times from her after that, though I was usually the "giver" in our sex acts. I don't mind being rubbed, licked, or sucked - in fact, I rather like it with someone I love and would be disappointed if a femme I was with never wanted to do it. In fact, I had a relationship with a femme who was like that. It was fine for a long time, but I started to miss being touched occasionally. It's not a hugely important desire for me, but it's still there.

I don't like being penetrated. I will not let just anyone touch the flesh between my legs. It takes time for me to allow it and I don't want it all the time.

I don't feel comfortable identifying as stone because I feel it is subjective and not entirely true. I sometimes feel I am too stone for those who are not stone but not stone enough for those who are. I don't want to mislead anyone. I say I'm 90% stone and I still feel connected to stone butches and femmes because of my past history.