[Medusa]

This will possibly be triggery to people who binge so skip this if you are feeling sensitive.


On Binging

I'm a binge eater. I come from a long line of binge eaters. This was something I wanted to really confront when I started this journey last April. I have confronted it and continue to confront it every day.

This morning, I has that dreaded "I binged last night" feeling. The chili I made was really good. I ate a bowl. Then I went back and ate another one even though I was full. Then late last night, I ate another 1/2 cup even though I was full.
On the WW plan, the points didnt put me over for my daily limit or anything and I didnt add cheese and sour cream like I normally do but I ate the chili like I used to eat cheeseburgers...greedily, gulping, and barely tasting it. Anything to get it packed in so that I can feel full as soon as possible.

The fact of the matter is that I've been having some sadness the past week. Last night, when I ate too much chili it was an attempt to get that feeling to go away. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in the "beating myself up" phase because it was chili, it wasnt Twinkies but still, I'd like to get a handle on that urge to stuff it all down.

Over all, I've done great with it. Have had 3 binges in the last 6 months. Have cleaned every closet and drawer in the house. Have caught up everything at work. Am working on getting needs for the Planet caught up. Everything is sliding into place. Hopefully the binging will be a thing of the past as well at some point.

* And this is where I took out a big ass paragraph about being remiss to write about this shit here because of haters out on the internet who do hateful shit with other people's vulberabilities, much like what happened to Candace, and that shit isn't worth my time, or yours.*

The plan is to keep morphing my mind. Overeating is not always a binge and sometimes eating way too much of something IS a binge if you're doing it to stop feeling.

It'll come together. I appreciate all of you.