I’m going to take some liberties and answer this entire post. Of course, I am basing this entirely on your post and may not have all the information I need to actually figure it out. I rarely do. And my answers are from the perspective of someone who owns the The Complete Shakespeare and has memorized entire sonnets. In the responses to posts like this it's easy for me to "spot the scientist" lol, rarely will you find a poet that uses the words logic and love in the same stanza.
So...my take for what it's worth.
So I was going on dates with someone recently - just dates. I was clear that I am enjoying being single and just dating but that I am open to taking things slow, etc. Hy seemed fine with this and said hy was enjoying the same. – This is fairly standard I think.
Fast forward. Seems hy's carrying on a rather intense romance with someone via Facebook. – No hy’s not, hy just wants you to think he is.
This is someone hy's never met and never will meet (too far, too expensive, etc.) –Here is the proof.
I ask hym to please let her know hy's also dating other people, just to be fair to her. - Hy was hoping you’d say that.
Hy starts getting a little on the odd side. –Again, fairly standard.
I'm not saying mean or weird, but definitely starting to crowd my space too much. – Further proof that the other girl probably doesn’t exist.
I redraw my boundaries in the nicest way possible, and ask hym to please give me a little time. –This likely hurt hys feelings, so to seem like hy didn’t care…The next day hy's changed hys relationship status to reflect that hy and this girl are in a relationship.
-because you responded before and hy is hoping for the same. Hey, jealousy. (Also a great song by the Cranberries btw)
So the question is:
Are modern manners so bad nowadays that it's no longer just the height of rudeness to have to find out via e-mail that one is no longer eligible for dates, but indirectly via social media? Yes.
Is this okay? People don’t stop being people online. Even if it’s all true and there is some girl in South Beach, or wherever, this is no different than the guy that suddenly stopped calling when you thought it was going so well. Back in the dark ages, (you know, back before Al Gore invented the internet,) the only way we knew why they stopped calling was if we happened to see them out with another girl.
I'm actually so stymied by the rudeness of it all - rather, the rudeness I perceive - that I'm really not sure if it's okay at all. –Well, no it’s not technically ok. Dating, love, relationships, people are all so complicated, most of it’s not ok. It does serve as a delicious distraction though from the repetitive tasks people have to accomplish every day. (And serve to create great works of literature.) Hollylane is very right, I think. How we fall in love or when or why has no bearing on the circumstances we found ourselves in when it happened. Why do you care if “she” knows that hy is dating other people since you told him you were happy being single? I think you showed your hand when hys online “relationship” bothered you. So now (it seems to me) you have two choices. It depends on how much you actually like hym. If playing games really bothers you, and some people it really does, then it sounds like your decision will be easy. If playing games doesn’t bother you...it would be fairly easy to sink his Battleship. The game (when speaking of love or baseball or Scrabble), when played well (or even badly) by two people of like minds, is one of the most thrilling experiences of all time. (imo)
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