For the days and nights ahead where she becomes more and more lost. Seeing her wonder and wander. Hearing her labored breathing as she sleeps on the couch, not wanting to be alone in her bedroom. Estranged for many years, it is strange to be in a house I co-own and hear her labored breathing and see her fragile frail being sleeping feet away. She told me recently that even though I quit claimed the house to her in 2000, she never filed the papers. Another shock.
Last night was too close a call. She was too disoriented to figure out how to hook up to her emergency oxygen tank. I lost my cell phone last week, and am waiting on a replacement. It took me 45 minutes in traffic to get here, all the while thinking I should have called the paramedics. I think she overfilled the humidifier on the electric air concentrator (it was put on the night before and she told me she filled the bottle) ****and her lungs got waterlogged, then by the time she called, she couldn't figure out how to get to the portable oxygen Tank, and turn it on. Over the phone, she was panting, I could hear the oxygen tanks clanging and air hissing, and she not answering until I yelled Peggie ....Hardly breathing she got out the wrong nasal cannula that didn't fit the E Tank, took the connector and tried hooking it into the port on the tank...Finally, as calmly as I could, I just said, connect any tube to the 4 foot tank and stick the tube in your nose. She did and the panic subsided. We were able to focus on getting her hooked to the large emergency tank that had 4 hours on it. Over the phone, We sat for a few mintues of quiet breathing and no talking. giving me time to get there across gridlocked Orange County.
It's 5 AM and she is sleeping peacefully on the couch. I slept in the recliner nearby. This has been repeated many nights since Sept 19, when she called and I rushed her to the ER.
I am attending a Legal and Lifetime Workshop this afternoon at the Alzheimer's Association. She wants me to be Power of Attorney, and make sure she doesn't go to bad places.
My Ex of 21 years isn't losing her mind, she is losing her memory and as we taled about it we wept. I need to know what lies ahead, I guess, I really do know.
For Peggie and Freedom her cat, who watches over her...and for wisdom for me, as to what and when to do what needs to be done. For her children that don't get, or maybe do not want to get the message that Mom and their Gramma is seriously ill, and may never get better.
Please , Send her angels, light and love ...