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Old 02-18-2010, 04:58 PM   #85
Apocalipstic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ol' Jet View Post
More than anything in this world, on this day in this moment at this time in life I wish I had courage for the adversity I'm about to face. The first time, I had endurance. Now I'll found out what I am made of and what I am not made of, who I am and who I am not. I'm here online busying myself, trying to grasp and process things coming to light. Past and present, light and dark, heaven and hell, cowardice and courage, strength and weakness, the seen and unseen, life and death. God help me through this. I wondered what makes a man. I asked and it cost me my life and damn near my soul. My heart is faint and there is no one but God and me and a night in Rio Rio and the reason for it. Sorry to be cryptic, but typing this allows me to process my thoughts online as a link to the outside and something that feels sane right right now in my fright. This is and was my PTSD, and there is far more than I remembered. Now, I'm facing all of it and maybe now—finally—the devil will stop laughing.



Your fellow member,
an ol' Jet in all foilbles
2/18 5:22 EST

I hope things get better for you soon.

The PTSD makes us often relive things we don't even remember clearly...that don't match up right. Our minds play tricks on us.
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