Incubus
Here's my take, my opinion on your last post.
Incubus, it is great if you want to go to church, nothing in the world wrong with that. In addition, it is not a violation to do both church and recovery. Lots of people do it.
This part is how I see it. I need to be around others in recovery to get and stay "right-sized." Working steps with a sponsor, "cleaning house" ... Identifying both my good and unsavory characteristics ... Keep the good stuff about me, do amends except when harmful to others and continue to work to improve/correct those selfish behaviors I integrated into my personality as a selfish, egotistical drunk. That is what I became and I did not realize it. Church people are not wired the same as I am (at least the non-alcoholic ones) so hard as they try and with all the best intentions, they really don't know f*ck about what is wrong with me ... and therefore, are unable to help me.
I still behave inappropriately at times but overall, I am a great deal better than I was before a sponsor pointed out the glaring defects she noticed when we did step work. Oh, that was some tough love! I hated hearing all about that. I was many times genuinely pissed off about it. Today, that tough love helps me to grow, even when terribly painful. For this, I am eternally thankful.
Incubus, I have no idea. I only know what has worked and continues to work for me. Perhaps you will find a tough love person in church who will kick your seat hard enough to help you. I wish you the very best with that. Let me know how it works out for you.
Best wishes. Sending prayers to the Good Spirit that you make it!
Your friend,
Brock
|