[sylvie]

While this journey of mine is a good thing, it's hard to accept some truths..

- how my compulsive overeating & eating disorder has affected the people around me..
- the food issues my own children have, because i haven't taught them differently.. & they learned from example..
- having to make amends with people (family & friends), ways i have hurt them, pushed them out of my life and lived in my own selfishness within my disease.
- finding forgiveness, realizations about some people in my life, and of course, the ultimate - self forgiveness..
- lastly, admitting my wrongdoings in the past & making necessary changes to my life..

While overall these are good things, it's hard not to be sad about the person i was.. It's embarrassing and i carry a lot of guilt..my Dietician offered me some good advice today, however.. You cant feel guilt for things you had no power over, didn't know or just didn't know any better at that time.. You can only feel guilt for things you know were bad, but still did them anyway.. Learning that has really helped me swallow some of these things and open myself up for working on them & the forgiveness..

i think i might actually be ready - big step. So, the end result will bring something much more than the sadness.. It will bring inner peace, a happy heart & a guilt free me..