[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

This is the first time I've read this thread. I know why I was avoiding it. I am still constantly counting, always writing and calculating, and berating myself for going over my numbers. I've done nothing but gain for the past 20 years. I don't understand recovery. I know I do okay for a while, but somehow always slip back into knowing that I need to toughen up and crack down on my eating because I hate how I perceive myself. I'm feeling very anxious right now because you're all so strong and so positive, and I am too afraid to let go of my precious numbers. But I am here, and I am reading, and I am in awe of every single one of you.

(((((((((( you )))))))))

don't think that you are alone! Most of us are holding on to something.