Quote:
Originally Posted by *Anya*
Pulling my own covers here even though I know my honey will read this but I have to come clean for myself and perhaps to let anyone else that is struggling to know that they are not alone. Not everyone is able to just make up their mind that they are going to lose weight and never have a slip.
I had the pleasure of spending a week with my butch. I say a week as I am like many on the Planet, in a LDR. I am, however, having a very hard time with it. I had a very dark 2-weeks after said butch flew back those 350 miles and a one- hour plane ride back to No. Cali.
I lost 3-pounds the week the butch was here.
The day after butch left, for the first time in 6- 12 months (maybe even longer) I bought an entire box of cookies at Trader Jo's and ate them at one sitting. I then bough a box of "Hold the Cones" little ice cream cones, @ least I ate them over several days
Maybe this should be in the Eating Disorders thread because it was so clearly emotional eating to fill a sadness that I felt and of course it filled nothing but self-loathing and even greater sadness at my loss of self-control.
Now, I am struggling with the cravings that will take another week or longer to go away.
I also have broken my own daily weighing rule and have not weighed in the last two weeks because I am so fearful of looking at what I might have gained.
All of this is very, very difficult to admit to not only myself but to those that read this thread. I am a control freak and perfectionist and my my loss of control goes against my core personality but it is my truth today.
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{{{{Anya}}}}}
Oh dear heart, I can feel your pain through my computer screen, and I applaud you for sharing your heart with us.
My fiance is an emotional eater and when she feels (what's that acronym...
HAuLT...hurt, angry, lonely, tired) she gravitates toward food as her source of comfort. She has come SO far, but I can sense when she is struggling and it takes all my will power to not jump in and try to rescue her. That sort of co-dependent behavior can be such a trigger for me. I don't have food issues so much anymore, but when my switches get flipped (HAuLT) I turn to wine. <sigh> I love it so, but I scared myself a while back when taking out the recycling and I saw how many empty bottles of red wine were there. It just takes practice. And lots of love and self forgiveness. We MUST be gentle with ourselves. Read my signature and don't forget it!!! You are so beautiful and strong and smart and wonderful and we won't ever stop caring about you! No matter what! That's what this beautiful community is all about!!!
